Shraavan


Olya tya pausaat chimba bhijawasa vattay...
kuni tari javal yeun mithit ghyava asa vattay...

Unha ne tahanalelya mazya manala...
tuzi ti savali havich aahe...jamala tar barsun honaar to prem varshav havaay

aaj nirabhra ratrit tu ani mi asa doghach asava...
thembaanchya tya chandanyaat bharpur kaahi na boltaach aikaava...

onjalitlya nirane tya hatachya resha pusun takavyaa...
tya tithlya indra dhanut yenaarya kaalacha ogh pahava/rekhatava...

ti nadi kashi na oshaltaa aaj utthunga vahate...
sagara kade dhaavat jaaun, mithi ghete, ekroopi hote...

Haach tar to shraavan maas aahe...

ithech hya ayushaat aas aahe...abhaas aahe...tuzich saath aahe

---Anushree 

You and I are nothing but our stories

Stories that we create, enact, witness, emote, a role we play

Stories that are woven with emotions, tears, laughters and a sea of people

Our stories are what makes us unique, distinct and irreplacable

Our stories are what completed our past and made us this present (self)

Our stories are to be shared, told and retold

Our stories are to be learnt, unlearnt and relearnt

Our stories are legacies we leave behind

Our stories are martyrs that stay alive

Our stories are what binds us

Our stories are what finds us

- Anushree Dhanraj

Sunday, 23 October 2011 at 23:59

update

Lately I am going through a major phase of Introspection. A book I am reading has forced me to consider and re-consider the dynamics of my own thought process. I am reading the Biography of Albert Ellis, who happens to be a renowned Psychologist and the genesis of REBT – Rational Emotive Behaviour Theory/ therapy (not sure).

Life has always been a puzzle, a mystery….an unsolved problem for me. After reading the good old Linda Goodman’s book on Zodiacs….it seems that all the mess comes very naturally to an Aquarian like me. We like to analyse and detect and solve the mystery of other people. Even ending up “Untangling” their problems as efficiently as miserably failing to solve ones own.

I have realized that I even spend time judging, analyzing and sometimes (most of the times) criticising my own actions (and inactions). I then realized (very recently) that I need to stop doing this to others and more so over to myself. Like my best friend says “Anushree, go with the flow”. Yeah! True….why worry about the consequences? They can be good or bad.

And I truly need to try things out…commit a few mistakes…learn and accept them as they come (and go). I don’t need to get petrified and terrified and stupefied by every small error I commit (unintentionally though). Then I have heard and seen of the errors made intentionally… appropriately called “stupid things done for the heck of trying” (like occasional flirting, trying vodka, breezer and a smoke for starters). Whats the harm, if I know when to start, stop, hide and say bye. Well the best part I learnt about it is “you are not guilty of any wrongdoings unless you get caught”. I learnt to stop catching myself and putting me through the rigorous regime of judgement, where of course I am the judge, the witness and the convict.

We all are so very like bounded individuals …restricted by the rules of society, culture, traditions, community – like the zombies I saw in the movies the other day. Its too tiring and taxing to remember the whole list of “to do” and “not to do”. The simple formula I have come across is be yourself …be so comfortable in your own skin that anything and everything you do justifies the cause (in your own mind and in the eyes of others) and is (with highest possible probability of the given situation) harmless to others. That goes without saying that ultimately “Sorry boss! I cannot please everyone.”

I had come across the theory of Assertiveness being the balance or the midpoint between Submissiveness and Aggressiveness. Its amazing how with time, newer people and experiences you redefine these terms in a new light. It suddenly starts making more sense and is so appealing. Its like finding and opening your own treasure box…knowing all the while….where it lied unnoticed.

And yes its cool (sometimes marginally ok) to be totally stupid and foolish. Whats the fun of being the “miss goody two legs” all the time. After all you tell the dead from the ones alive….when you see it moving…something “happening”.

With all the blah blah…I come to the end of my blog. I am planning to stay all by myself…. Try newer clothes, style…new activities, new job…new people at a new location. Let me stumble upon something new that jumbles me up….till then adios.

P.S. Trying my hands on urdu-hindi shayari and rekindling my interest in drawing and painting…. cooking and exclusively decorating just about anything.

FRIENDS

Recently it’s been pouring Friends on me. And they have come from unexpected quarters. We know people just on a superficial level. I had many such “acquaintances” that you really can’t term as friends or more.

Then a sudden change happened when I became friends, to a particular friend. Instantly a connection was felt, a connection so strong that it made me realise the missing links. Communiqué my friends like I said in my first blog “un-maligned pure and harmless inconclusive chats” was The Link.

We so often get caught up in those unnecessary thoughts and prejudices and perceptions of our own that we do not even consider giving things a try. We do not try calling people or we do not text sweet nothings. We seldom wish them on time of occasions and depend much on that 100 gram machine called mobile for the slightest memory of that person. “What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call.”

And then applications like facebook, myspace, orkut and other such innumerable social networking sites has enabled us to have so many so called friends. But can posting something on a wall or tweeting (and other tweet slangs) really replace the voice communiqué? Why do we still feel lonely if we have 500+ friends Virtually?

Through this blog I do not intend to complain. But I miss the walk in the huge garden...the scent of the soil when raindrop embraces it.....I am thankful that I have a Plant in the corner of my room...and can still sometimes feel the scent of the wet soil there, feeling up my heart albeit virtually.

My experiences on the other side of the bench !!

We all, for at least one point in our lifetime have been students. We just enter the classroom, attend lectures, ignore if it is boring and leave the campus. But do we ever stop to ponder over or to think over and perceive what the other side is like. How is it being a teacher, a lecturer, a professor? For most of the part we are ignorant of that person whom we meet and stay in contact for hours together. We may just shrug off the thought with an assumption that it is a just a plain Job, an easy one at that. Is it completely true?

My rendezvous with the pedagogical side came along when I was offered to teach 2 batches of students for an undergraduate program. Sooner the acuity of not turning into one of those “dreary” “boring” Teacher clouted my thoughts.
But in a little while the experience made me realise how tedious, demanding and noble is this profession. It needs all that a manager would require while making a quarterly presentation to his supervisor. The confidence, the pitch in ones voice, the decorum of subject in discussion, making of the PowerPoint slides, et all are the series of mix that go into making you a decent, bearable teacher to your students.

One misconception we have during our days as a student was that it is a no hassle profession, no admin tasks involved and a pretty steady one. I was especially wronged when I joined the visionary institute which is striving for its growth and student development. The deadlines, meetings, interactions, inter departmental affairs gave me a real time corporate like experience. Scope lied in unfulfilled plans, opportunities lie aplenty to be used and newer challenges just pop up every moment.

Mentoring is one aspect of my teaching profile. It is a new kind of role which ensures that a leadership eminence evolves in you. It covers the facet of Academic, Career and Emotional dilemmas that students today face. It keeps me up to date with the current social wave of change that a lot of teachers from old school of thought could not address or failed to even see.

As part of my profile, I frequently counsel parents, discuss things about their wards and concerns thereof. It helped me comprehend that being a parent is no easy job either. Their sincere concerns and the zest, to work harder towards the betterment of their child amaze me. The fact that even I during my teenage days failed to appreciate or even observe my parent’s concern, makes me respect and revere my parents even more, today. What does it actually feel like being a parent? It is been just too obvious to encounter it first hand when one starts counselling and equally difficult to fully appreciate and value those years of hardship and rainy days of the parenthood.

My tryst with the other side of the bench, the didactic one, has enriched and increased the horizons of my thoughts and feeling.

Memories come back and now I clearly value and respect those people who helped me carve out my moral fibre and are the second best people to my parents.

Note : The account related above is truly personal and there are general views otherwise. There have been cases wherein this dignified profession has faced shortcomings of its own; government apathy towards them has aggravated the outlook of people wanting to enter this field. Every rule has an exception and so is true for every area of work.

Recent Experiences and Learnings

I have been thinking of writing my thoughts out for quite some time. With a lot of deliberations and reflections, I have come to decide on LEARNINGS I have had. We come in contact with numerable individuals in our everyday life. Some of them, their actions, and their persona affects you strongly. I have been fortunate to have such personalities along my way.
A recent rendezvous with a person taught me or rather made me revisit some of the principles to Normal, jhanjhat-free life. The person has been practicing and advocating it so easily and devotedly that it has left me respecting them more.

Funda 1> Life can be as Simple as possible, we tend to complicate it!!
I found it very true. The world may not be a simple place to stay in but it surely is the way you want it to be. Your thoughts and approach make more than half of the things happen around you, the way you want.

Funda 2> Truth is serene and it triumphs
We hear it a lot of times and struggle to make it true. If life can be as simple as 1 wants, so can be the truth. People who genuinely care will call a spade, a spade. Such people around you radiate goodness. They have genuine smiles. They do not fear telling you what is wrong and right. Will objectively stand by true facts and support you if you are spot on.

Funda 3> People around are like books
Each one of us has a story to tell, a thought to share, something to unlearn and something to gain. Speaking, genuinely inquiring and many such encounters of communication in recent past, made me conscious of the fact that we all human species are tied by a simple thread of common emotion – to express.
It is so frequently used, abused, tampered, manipulated, concealed that we don’t realise the magnitude of its pure existence. There is a need to identify a pure non-maligned form to converse. It is again very effortless but is dented with our experiences and situations around us. Hence, bickering and blaming and guilt should be cleared off as soon as possible. Clarity is then possible and Clarity is the key.

There are lot other Fundas of which above 3 are primary and have had a maximum impact on me. I cherish them and try to observe and learn from them constantly. In my pursuit to change –unlearn-learn I am thankful to people around me. They are my books, my friends, my guide and idol too.